05 September 2007

A walk opposed and defended

I have been enjoying the cool Colorado mornings in the form of a walk almost every weekday. I have used this opportunity to have my soul refreshed not only by the great outdoors but also the Truth (thanks to Mark hooking me up with an MP3 player). For sometime now I have been praying a daily prayer that reminds me of what is true about God and therefore me. Mark loaded it onto the MP3 player for me and as I walk the Truth washes over my mind, soul and spirit.

"My dear Lord Jesus, I come to you now to be restored in you..."

Today, however, my walk was opposed or rather, my heart. I could not get the MP3 player to work right. I was able to listen to my prayer in segments, but I was distracted and frustrated. I messed with it a bit and got to the point where it was going to work right - I thought - and then it shut down on me. I started out with 2 bars on my battery and all the sudden it was dead. I was mad! My heart was opposed.

So, I chatted with God about this and he defended me against my enemy and led me to another place. We talked, or rather I talked - I was a bit chatty this morning. I wasn't avoiding Him through my endless chatter, but once I did shut up I found him leading me toward some memories of a very painful experience in my college days. It was rather surprising- I hadn't thought of this in years - especially when the tears began to flow as if I had just experienced it and a rush of thoughts and emotions came quickly.

Now, I guess to some this may not seem like a good thing, but I am learning, the longer I walk with Him, to follow Him into these places. And to ask what He has for me there, what of Him he has for me there.

I found lots of me there - anger, hurt, striving.

And, I found Him - Love, Grace, Mercy, Redemption.

And so, I will continue to follow Him...



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