without pay: post 8

Well, we have made it through the month. Each week has been different and that has made life interesting. It feels lovely to be able to pay our rent at the end of this week. It is amazing to look back and see the lavish ways God has provided for our wallets and our hearts.

Speaking of which...
the kids and I just had a picnic at the park. It is 58 degrees and the sun is a welcome friend today. While I was preparing our picnic Ethan was acting very hyper. I was thankful for the quick realization that he was acting out his excitement over going to the park for a picnic...otherwise, I may have lost my patience with him and his obnoxious noises, etc.

Hopefully, this month we will see the return of a regular working schedule for Mark. Although, I must admit it has been delightful to have him around at different times of the day. And, God has used this time to continue to shape the desires of Mark's heart...or maybe just flesh them out a little bit more.

For all of these things - and many, many more - we are humbly grateful!

weight

I feel like we have lost a couple weeks here in the Hostetler household...sickness, tensions, stress, company.

With the exception of a few days, my days have consisted of doing what was necessary for our family to survive or staying out of the way so that it could survive in spite of me.

I have missed having thoughts that have substance.

But today I am thankful for these words that Wes pointed to on his blog not only for their raw desire and courage but for the invitation back to the world of the deep, a world with weight...I have missed it.

I Will Not Die an Unlived Life
By Dawna Markova

I will not die an unlived life.
I will not live in fear
of falling or catching fire.
I choose to inhabit my days,
to allow my living to open me,
to make me less afraid,
more accessible,
to loosen my heart
until it becomes a wing,
a torch, a promise.
I choose to risk my significance,
to live so that which came to me as seed
goes to the next as blossom,
and that which came to me as blossom,
goes on as fruit.

without pay: post 7

food drop at our front door of milk, cheerios, peanut butter, bread, ketchup and pears...free
check for $120...free
$60 cash...free
$20 sponsorship of a morning away for myself...free
trip to the food pantry with a new, sincere and caring soul...free
package in the mail of the ingredients needed for a favorite dessert and a wal-mart giftcard...free
$35 gift card to a restaurant in town from a treasured soul who said "you need a night out with your family"...free
$50 grocery store gift card (which can also be used for gas)...free
2nd trip to the food pantry for food...free
food drop at our front door of cheerios, mac-n-cheese, soup, orange juice and fruit snacks...free
check for $100 from particularly special grandparents...free

Being loved by God through the hearts and generousity of His people...priceless: value incalculable.

Continuing the pursuit of margin in my heart, soul, mind and life (and all that entails my life) so that I will always be available to be used of Him for these purposes in other's stories...guaranteed!

without pay: post 6

I was assured that Ethan has a firm grasp on our current financial circumstances after an idea he shared with me yesterday afternoon...

Ethan and I were able to go together since Mark was home. He has had a lot of questions about the food pantry so I thought it would be good for him to go along with me. Also, one of his new buddies from Adullam was going to be there with his mom and I knew he would enjoy the social stimulation. While we were going through the line the man running the fruit table handed Ethan an "extra" bag of sliced apples...we had already gotten our share of fruit. Ethan thought this was really cool...pre-sliced apples and exuberantly went to show his buddy, Andrew.

So, we were on our way home and all of the sudden Ethan says...
"Mom, do you think I could sell my apples to Andrew?"